What Point Are We Trying To Make?


I want to comment on the whole half-time show/Super Bowl discussion, as I feel it is important to articulate and put it in perspective.

First, I heard the argument that our female bodies have been controlled by the patriarchy for centuries and we, as women, should be able to do what ever we want with our bodies. Well, yes we CAN do whatever we want with our bodies, but that doesn’t mean we SHOULD. There is dignity. We can get our point across in other ways.

Stooping to the level of pole dancing and basic pornography in front of millions of people is not making our case. We need to understand the primal functions of men and women. You cannot expect a man not to get aroused when he sees a woman behaving in that way. That is not fair. Shoving that provocative behavior in a man’s face to prove a point is so wrong. And it is not in integrity. And it is playing right into the patriarchy. If you don’t think the patriarchy wants us up there pole dancing for all of them to see, you are living in denial and ignorance.

The Super Bowl is known for being the largest site for sex trafficking each year and it is also the day of the year with the highest level of domestic violence. We as women – the nurturers, the caregivers- have to really think about what we are doing, when we are doing it – and who will be affected. WE have control over our own behavior. We need to act wisely.

Let’s consider who is directly affected by all of this narcissistic, pole dancing, grandstanding. All of those poor girls who will be trafficked as a result of the men who are now hyper aroused by the pornographic behavior they just watched that is INTENDED to arouse – needing to find a release. Men who are not able to control themselves because of biological reasons. You can say that they SHOULD be able to control themselves but that doesn’t mean they WILL. Biology is biology. And not everyone is playing with a full deck of mental health.

Now I am not saying that a woman is responsible for being raped or assaulted because of what she wears or where she goes or what she does; however we need to be smart as women. We have to be aware at all times because that is the world we live in. We cannot dress or act in provocative ways and expect a man not to be aroused. That is complete ignorance. No, a woman is not responsible for a rape because of what she is wearing or doing. Absolutely not. However, shoving porn in a man’s face to purposely arouse him is also not ok. That is called teasing. Neither is appropriate behavior.

Second – JLo can do whatever she wants. However, she does not represent me or my views as a woman. She is not a torch bearer for female equality. What woman pole dances in a pornographic way who does not want millions of men ogling after her? Let’s look at what she gains. She gets all of this attention and energy. And she gets people to follow her on social media, etc. She gains more popularity. And I might add, she seems to be working through her own insecurities about aging. She is not dumb. She is using that female power platform for her own gain – NOT to empower us all as women. Nor do I think she is a voice for every woman that has been sexually assaulted and wished she had not ever been noticed.

Yes, JLo has a voice, but it is not my voice she represents. I would NEVER flaunt myself in public in that way. I do not have to. Real power comes from within, not from flaunting your body on national TV. It is appalling what we have stooped to as a nation. If we as women want things to be better, we have to BE better too. You cannot have the “me too” movement and then this flaunting of our bodies provoking the male population. There is no dignity or respect in that – and it confuses the issue.

If you want to pole dance, knock yourself out. Yes – it can be something sensual and appropriate with someone that you love. But do it in the privacy of your home, not on national TV to wow everyone with what great shape your are in – or to have a good majority of the male population fantasizing about you. How completely narcissistic.

It is in our humbleness that we speak volumes. We have spent so much time as women working to be taken seriously. This kind of behavior sets us back. It does not move us forward.

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